Learning to dance in the rain

October 4, 2010

My Weekend

Filed under: Uncategorized — justjoanie @ 2:19 pm

I met someone! I’ve been doing the online dating thing. Trying the sites to see if there was anyone out there that would be interested in me. So far the only people I’ve met have been 3 or 4 hours away. I’ve talked to crazy people, stalkers, and people that I have nothing at all in common with.

When I first joined this one site, there was one person in the tiny town where I live. So I messaged her to see if she would be interested in meeting. But I never heard back from her. I was really just thinking about deleting my account because there just isn’t anyone where I live. But this woman popped up in my matches again. So I decided one more time to message her. This time she messaged me back. She said she never recieved the first one. We both have been a bit hurt, and thought it to be a good idea to be friends, and have someone local to hang out with, although we both knew the possiblity  that it could potentially turn into something more. I went to her house and had dinner and watched a movie, and we discovered that not only do we live in the same town, we both work and travel 45 minutes to the same town to work. We then cooked up the plan to carpool and save some money! After a couple days of this, we had really gotten to know each other pretty well. I was about to get out of the car to go into work one morning, and she reached over and kissed me. Wow, the electricity that I felt shoot through me. That was the beginning. We went away this weekend together. It was amazing. We spent time with my cousin and some of her friends, and had plenty of “us” time as well. We got to know each other even better, many of the fun little details that make a person unique.

I suppose since this is my blog, I can say that I fell head over heels in love. And so did she. I guess on here I need to give her a name. Unfortunately her name also starts with an M, but her last name starts with a K, so that will be her. K is an amazing woman. She has been through alot in her life, some of the same things I’ve been through, some things radically different. But because of our hardships, we know where we stand. We have become similar creatures.

I didn’t tell K that I’m in love with her. Not because I don’t want to, because I would love to be able to tell her everything that I’m feeling. But I just don’t trust myself, or my heart. I told her it was going to take me time to get everything straight in my head. I don’t want to make her feel the way that M made me feel while we were together. I don’t want there to be 3 people in this relationship. I also told her that I want to be completely sure this isn’t a rebound, I don’t want to hurt her.  So I told K that I’m not going to date anyone else, but also that I’m not comfortable with the words commitment, relationship, partner, or anything of that sort. And I explained why. She said that she could tell that I fell in love with her too by the way that I look into her eyes. She said that she completely understood, and that she was patient enough to wait for me. That has endeared her even more to me.

I know that we are in the beginning of something special, and that the feelings are high and exhilarating right now, but at the moment……..

I think I may have just met my future